Who's that girl I see? Postop recognition and plastic surgery results
Even if plastic surgery is something you've wanted with all your heart, you can wake up one morning, look in the mirror and realize that you don't recognize the person staring back at you.
Postop regret and recognition issues are more common than people think. It doesn't mean that you don't like your results or that you regret getting plastic surgery. It does mean that you may need a little more time, support and TLC to get comfortable in your new skin.
When plastic surgery results have you asking, "Who's that girl?" then friends, family and a compassionate board-certified plastic surgeon can help you find yourself.
Postop recognition and plastic surgery results
New mothers often have a tough time recognizing themselves post-childbirth. They've undergone nine months of significant physical, hormonal and psychological changes, and then, one day, there is a baby. Women can sometimes look in the mirror and not recognize the face and body of the person they see reflected at them. One study has called out the phenomenon, calling it "postpartum-identified grief," finding that nearly 62 percent of all new mothers experience complicated feelings about their new body.
It's not exactly the same thing, but many plastic surgery patients experience similar issues, not recognizing themselves after surgery or struggling with complex emotions tied to their old appearance, their new appearance, the changes they have undergone and whether that makes them a different person.
For some patients, there is the initial shock to get over following a plastic surgery procedure.
"After any plastic surgery procedure, especially when the results are more transformative than subtle if it involves the face or a drastic change in the body – such as a mommy makeover or post-weight loss body contouring procedure following significant weight loss – the first few times a patient sees themself, it can be a shock," said Karen Horton, MD, MSc, FACS. "Swelling, bruising, distortion, numbness and the normal emotional ups and downs after surgery can all contribute to a feeling of 'What have I done?' or 'This was a mistake!'"
How a patient looks during recovery is typically a far cry from what they will look like after the swelling has subsided, after everything has shifted into place and the body has had time to heal.
"It is common to feel vulnerable after having plastic surgery, to doubt one's choices and to feel guilty about the money spent on the procedure, time away from children, work or social events, and to have a period of anxiety or depression," said Dr. Horton.
Patients may not expect an emotional recovery alongside the physical recovery, but that's the case for plenty of people undergoing plastic surgery.
"It is not uncommon for patients to experience a period of emotional adjustment following plastic surgery, particularly when the changes involve the face," said Lara Devgan, MD. "Even when outcomes are technically excellent and aligned with a patient's goals, the initial encounter with the mirror can evoke a sense of unfamiliarity."
It's not that patients are unhappy with the results of their plastic surgery procedure. It is more of a feeling of introspection. Suddenly, a person faces challenging emotional and psychological questions about what makes us who we are.
"This reaction is not necessarily a sign of dissatisfaction but rather a reflection of the deep psychological connection we have with our appearance," said Dr. Devgan. "Our faces serve as both personal identifiers and social interfaces and when they change – however subtly – it can take time for the brain to reconcile the new visual image with an established internal sense of self."
How do you find yourself again?
While you may not recognize the person in the mirror at first, these feelings are likely fleeting. Your plastic surgeon will help prepare you for the ups and downs of this journey.
"Patients may feel temporarily disoriented and unsure of who they are seeing, even if the change is positive and intended," said Dr. Devgan. "Anticipating this, many plastic surgeons now take time during preoperative consultations to discuss not only the physical healing process but also the emotional and psychological arc of recovery."
So, how do you work towards feeling more comfortable in your own skin and working through the process of recognizing and accepting yourself after plastic surgery?
Dr. Horton said that setting expectations and readying patients for the road ahead starts on day one in her practice.
"To prepare patients for the mental and emotional anguish that can be experienced after surgery – even if only for a few hours, days or sometimes weeks – we dive into the recovery process fully at the initial consultation, at the preoperative visit and again at each follow-up," said Dr. Horton.
Getting a support system in place is also vital. That means surrounding yourself with compassionate family, friends and, potentially, mental health professionals. As you recover, try to avoid interacting with anyone who may be judgmental or unsupportive of your journey and cause you greater anxiety.
"We ensure family members or caregivers also know what to expect in the early postoperative period," said Dr. Horton. "We encourage and facilitate speaking to other patients who have had a similar procedure among our patient population. We prescribe an oral anti-anxiety medication that can be helpful not only the night before and morning of surgery but also after surgery during times of distress, sadness or feeling overwhelmed."
One of the most important parts of postop recovery is not necessarily the journey to recognizing yourself but simply acknowledging that what you are going through is normal.
"Postoperatively, reassurance and normalization are key," said Dr. Devgan. "Patients are reminded that emotional adaptation is a recognized part of the healing journey, just as real as swelling or bruising. The concept of 'facial recalibration' – the idea that the brain needs time to update its self-image – can be a helpful framework."
Dr. Devgan said that plastic surgeons can help encourage patients to avoid making emotional judgments about their appearance too early and to trust in the process of reintegration.
"Over time, as they resume daily life, smile, speak and engage with others, the new appearance becomes familiar, and the sense of self stabilizes," said Dr. Devgan. "Ultimately, the goal is not only an aesthetic improvement but also a harmonious alignment between how a person looks and how they feel – a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and the guidance of a thoughtful surgical team."
Feeling a separation between how you look now and what you looked like before you gaze into the mirror is normal. Yet, it is important to be conscious of negative thoughts about how you see your face or body that disrupt your daily life or cause suicidal thoughts, which can be a sign of a mental health condition called body dysmorphic disorder. This is not the same as asking yourself, "Who's that girl?" It is best to seek the help of a qualified mental health professional if you are experiencing extreme emotions, self-doubt or negative thoughts that interfere with the quality of your life.
At the end of the day, you are still you. Plastic surgery can elevate your aesthetic and boost your confidence, but it takes time to put a face with a name, even if it's your own. Be patient and, above all, be kind to yourself.
To find a qualified plastic surgeon for any cosmetic or reconstructive procedure, consult a member of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. All ASPS members are board certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery, have completed an accredited plastic surgery training program, practice in accredited facilities and follow strict standards of safety and ethics. Find an ASPS member in your area.
